A Parenting Promise: Words from the Heart to my Children

I asked Sheila, my freelance writer for Careanoh.com, who is also a mother of two, a few questions about how much being a parent has impacted her.  Sheila has a young son and a daughter. She takes care of them while also working full time from home. 

I met Sheila online for the interview today. 

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Carean: Sheila, what’s your opinion on parenting, as a young mother?

Sheila: I am a mother of two. If you were to ask me if parenting is one of the most challenging jobs an individual can have, I would say, ‘Surely.’  It is a 24-hour, seven-day-a-week job that requires a great deal of patience and creativity. It is a never-ending task that will only become harder. As a parent, my primary goal is to raise happy, healthy and kind kids.

Carean: What are your main responsibilities as a parent?

Sheila: I have to be a teacher, legislator, friend and servant. Indeed, this is a role that requires me to take on a variety of responsibilities for my child. I feel it is my job to adequately nurture and discipline my children in order for them to develop into responsible citizens. I am aware that consistency in parenting and establishing boundaries for children are crucial. I usually make a point of discussing a variety of topics with my children, including undesirable habits like smoking, drinking and even using inappropriate language.

Carean: Any opinion on positive parenting?

Sheila: As a mother and an early childhood educator, I believe that positive parenting is a broad term that can refer to a variety of parent-child relationships, but it is most commonly used to refer to a parent’s behaviour toward his or her child and is a critical component of parent-child relationships. Positive parenting, in my opinion, is defined as the behaviour of a parent who is emotionally available, accepts responsibility for his or her child’s behaviour, and is consistently positive in both verbal and non-verbal responses to the child. Positive parenting is an essential component of the parent-child relationship and should serve as a model for how parents should interact with their children.

Where studies is concerned, your (Carean Oh’s) heart-centred education contributes significantly to parents’ continued trust in a professional who understands how to mirror the child’s bond with its parents. In this manner, parents will also have an easier time integrating their children into a positive academic environment. So, I think we parents have a lot to consider about this useful approach.

Carean : If there is one essential area you would like to work on, what would it be?

Sheila: I’d like to strengthen my bond with my kids. I want them to feel comfortable communicating with me about their desires, dislikes and emotions. I want to know they’re happy and that I’m doing everything I can to ensure their happiness. I want them to recognise their worth to me and to others, to be assured and confident individuals. I’m working on imparting family values to my children. Conventionally, a family’s primary objective is to earn a living. Nowadays, the primary objective is to be happy. Finally, I make it a point to always be as consistent about rules and consequences as I can with my children. In short, be the best role model I can for them.

Carean : Is it easy to be a role model, given that you face your children day in, day out?

Sheila: This is something I’ve attempted, but so often have I been caught up in the daily whirlwind of life that I fall short. As such, I do feel incompetent at times. I just want to let you know that it’s fine to be an imperfect mother, because in our hearts, we do try to be the best mother we can be. I am young and there is really a lot I have to learn from my mother and I do appreciate it now that I realise why she tried her best to nurture me when I was younger. The pressure will always be there in me. Sometimes, recognising it makes me feel motivated to try harder to be a better parent. In many ways, consistency is critical for me because regardless of what else is going on in my life, I understand that the rules are the rules and there are consequences for breaking them. And my kids see this. 

Carean : What’s your toughest parenting experience?

Sheila: I admit I do struggle to maintain a balance between my personal and professional lives. I am aware that I am a professional educator, but I never desired to exchange my children for my career. When you become a parent, you make a promise to your child that you will love and care for him or her. Many sacrifices will be made. You may be unable to provide them with many material possessions, but what you can provide them with is your time, love and most importantly, your loving promise.

Carean : If there is one thing that you can do for your child – and I am not measuring material gifts – what will it be?

Sheila: It is time. Because time slips away and before we know it, my kids will become adults. I want to spend their childhood with them, be there for their first experiences –  their first rain, first swimming lesson, make their first best friend. These are precious moments and if I could, I would be there to catch them when they fall, and be their strength. There are some things I did not have in my childhood which I find it significant to give to my children. Only because I love them.

Careanoh.com is a resource for parents who are keen to seek ideas and opinions about how to guide their children. Developed by a passionate and experienced educator, this site encourages comments from parents who need help to enhance their children’s education journey.

By Carean Oh, Writers Studio, Writers Studio School of English